As though slipping behind a curtain, despite the room being full of people, I didn’t feel self-conscious but rather I was at one with myself. My undivided focus was on my chalk marking the easel. My thoughts were no longer occupied by the fact that my least favorite subject was next or the latest family drama. I was free from all distractions as I watched my hands create a picture seemingly all by themselves. Slipping into a trance like state, it was as if body and mind where one, I had been possessed in the process of creation. Time stood still. The work felt bigger than me, it’s creator. My focus was laser sharp but I felt a deep sense of calm. I felt passionate, even though to the naked eye, all there was to see was a school girl silently drawing at her easel.
Over the years I had experienced flow in a few places, but in art class I had learned to slip in to that state within minutes. There is another story I can tell you. In this story I am also present in the moment, laying on my bed staring up at the ceiling. I’m not happy here but I don’t know what else to do. I feel tired from the week but my mind is restless. I don’t want anything in particular other than this feeling to stop. I think of a few different things I could do but there seems no good reason to do any of them. Against my better judgement, I get up, wander around and try to do something that resembles productivity but nothing is matching up. Everything is taking three times as long. I am indecisive and distracted. I conclude that life is meaningless and decide to go back to bed until there is something that I have to do. No, I’m not depressed. This state of mind is known as existential crisis. Researchers say it’s experienced by people who do what they are told to do rather than what they want to do. And in modern society, we are told what to do until we adopt that way of thinking for ourselves. For example, I’m not sure any of us where born with the desire to work from nine to five but the majority of us do it for a majority of our lives. We become at risk of being so busy doing what we are told to do that we forget what we would do if we had a choice. When I was unemployed for a year this is the question I was forced to face. For such a long time, my life was consumed with what I had to do. But, what did I want to do? In middle school, when I got a part time job and the academic workload picked up, I started to feel like I didn’t run the show anymore. The repression of myself was painful at first but over time I got good at distracting myself, staying busy and accepting this new reality. That’s not to say that it was all bad, but pushing through far outweighed any other mode of existence. So, when I was occupation-less for one year, there was nowhere else to run. And in that year, that’s when societal expectations and what I wanted had their final showdown. I took back the director’s role in my life once more. I discovered that I needed time to create. Creating is my release. Creating is my reason for being but it was also important to me that I was creating for a purpose. Any mode of living where I found myself too busy to do so, felt ill-fitting and soul-suffocating to me. Upon this discovery, existential crisis walked out the door and hasn’t been seen since. What is concerning is how long we can ‘live’ without being the director of our own lives. Which is why it fills me with both happiness and sadness when I hear these words from our clients: "I learned how to dream again, something that I thought I had lost." I feel for them because I have been there. Let’s be clear; it’s not our fault that we lost touch with our dreams to begin with. It’s as though we learn to distrust ourselves as we grow up. Children are rewarded for good behavior and punished for bad behavior when in fact there are no bad children; just children with different needs, gifts and truths. These identities formed in childhood, that are reinforced externally by others, go on to inform the stories we tell ourselves in adulthood. When we are young and stand out from the herd, we risk ridicule, bullying, excessive discipline and blame. I, like many others, learned to equate my level of conformity with my level of worthiness. I, like many others, learned to derive my status, and supported my ego with productivity, good grades and being a good girl. But the truth is, we don’t need to turn our backs on some part of ourselves to maintain our worth. We don’t need to continually say "yes" when we feel like it’s a "no". We were all born with an innate sense of our own truth. You can trust your inner yes’s and no’s to lead you to your passions that really are the expression of your ultimate purpose. You can rid your life of existential crisis and increase living from your flow state. Start to listen to your internal guidance system. And start to watch out for the word "should" in your internal dialogue. It’s the first indication that you might be living out someone else’s agenda for your life. Once you have a good sense of direction, and have found your existential fuel, the rest is so much clearer. So, when was the last time you experienced flow? What gives you so much joy, that you will do it just for the sake of doing it? Your desires are the seed of all your achievements. They are there to remind you what you are capable of.
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Living Your Purpose Some people say that there are two important days in your life… The day you were born, and the day you find out why you were born. That’s how important finding your purpose is. When you discover what it is, your life truly begins. People who discover and live their life purpose use their mental, emotional, and creative energies to develop a skill, talent, or interest they love. When you give yourself to something you genuinely love, it calls forth your spirit. That makes you happier and more fulfilled, and you feel like you’re in sync with your inner self. Going in circles (speaking of a man trying to find his purpose) Many years ago, at a time when he had no formal education, no business experience, and no money, he just wandered around in life. One day, a man asked him what his purpose in life was. He didn’t even know what the man was talking about, but fortunately, he kept talking . Ultimately, the man got him to sit down and start thinking about what his purpose was. It took some time, but eventually, he settled on it. He then learned that if you have not found your purpose in life, you’re missing out on an enormous amount of enjoyment and possibly a respectable amount of wealth. However, whether you earn money from it or not, if you’re spending your days doing what you love, you’re on purpose. Zeroing in If you wake up every morning and love what you’re going to do, you’re a rich person because you’re getting satisfaction from how you spend your days. But listen, finding your purpose isn’t something you should rush. He outlined a step-by-step strategy for finding and living your purpose. While you’re zeroing in on your purpose, keep this in mind… Your purpose should be something that people will benefit from long after you’re gone. And if you’re doing something you love, it will be. And remember, you should have a purpose, a vision, and goals. Your purpose is why you’re living. Your vision is a long-range view of all the things you want to accomplish that are on purpose. And each of your goals takes a bite out of your vision. It all starts with knowing your purpose. So, don’t go another day without trying to discover yours. Finding your purpose and living it will change every day of your life. Wisdom consists in knowing what not to want as well as what to want.
Your goals should also be designed to create rewards that are most important to you, not to someone else. Some experimentation may be required, particularly during your early years, to find what you really like and what you’re best at. Career and financial goals should be balanced with personal goals such as maintaining relationships with people who are important to you. Your plan for your life should also include some fun goals, doing something simply because you enjoy doing it. Spiritual development is also important in becoming a happy, well-rounded person. Make sure you allow time for all important aspects of your personal development. You want your reputation and your character to match, but concentrate on your character. You may be able to fool others about the kind of person you really are for a time, but it seldom lasts for long. The surest way to make sure your character and your reputation are the same is to live your life in such a way that nothing you do would embarrass you if it were printed on the front page of the newspaper. Good character means not ever taking ethical shortcuts, even though everyone else may be doing so. You build good character by doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. The Magic Word is a spoken word record by Earl Nightingale that sold over a million copies.
As Earl explained, experts call the magic word the most important word as far as the results we get in life are concerned. And that word is attitude. What I’ve learned about attitude has allowed me to sail through life, moving from one success to another. And when I fail at something or run into a roadblock, I harvest the good, learn from the experience, and keep moving forward. Why It’s Called the Magic Word Your attitude works like magic because it is a two-edged sword… It either brings you the success you seek or, if misused, a life of disappointment. You would think that anything that packs this much power would be a subject that is taught from a young age. And yet, it’s not. So, if you ask any ten people you meet what attitude means, you will probably get ten different answers. So, what is attitude? Attitude is the composite of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Ultimately, the thoughts you choose and the way you feel are displayed by your body through your actions and behavior. Here’s a closer look at how it works: Attitude is a creative cycle that begins in your conscious mind with your choice of thoughts. Whether you believe it or not, you do choose your thoughts, and that choice is where your attitude originates. As you internalize (or become emotionally involved with) your thoughts, you create the second stage in forming an attitude: your entire being – mind and body – moves into a "vibration" that corresponds with your internalized thoughts. We refer to your conscious awareness of this vibration as "feeling." Your feelings are then expressed in actions or behaviors that produce the results in your life. What Do You Bring? Results follow attitude like night follows day. What I mean by that is your attitude is the cause, and your results are the effect. The axiom is "positive attitudes produce positive results." They make success more likely, failures less detrimental, pleasures more frequent, and pain more bearable. People with a positive attitude tend to bring warm sunshine wherever they go. Those with a negative attitude bring cold chills. Which do you bring? To find out where you can improve, take an inventory of your predispositions, the attitude you’re most likely to start with: • Are you generally optimistic or pessimistic? • Do you tend to assume the best or expect the worst? • Is your first instinct to be supportive or critical? • Do you send the message that you are passionate about life or that you’re simply enduring it? • Do you come across as the captain of your own ship or simply a passenger? It’s Impersonal The world plays no favorites; it’s impersonal. It doesn’t care who succeeds and who fails, nor does it care whether we change or not. However, a person’s attitude is incalculably powerful in bringing about the marvelous results, success, and joy they desire. However, we must train it patiently, day by day. Successful people come in all sizes, shapes, and colors and widely varying degrees of intelligence, background, and education. But they have two things in common—they expect to get more good out of life than bad and to succeed more often than they fail. And they experience both. When you want something worthwhile, take the attitude that there are many more reasons you can have it than why you can’t. Set out to earn it—go after it—work for it—ask for it—and nine times out ten, you’ll get it. What’s Going On Inside Shows On The Outside Attitude is the reflection of a person. Our environment, the world we’ve created around ourselves, is really a mirror of our attitude. If we don’t like our environment, we can change it by changing our attitudes. Wherever you are on the attitude spectrum, think how much better things could be if you were more consistently and self-consciously optimistic, empathetic, supportive, grateful, enthusiastic, hopeful, and cheerful. Of course, by now, you’re probably wondering how to create a positive, success-oriented attitude? Well, I could go on and on here, but it would be best if you watch The Magic Word, Lesson One of The New Lead the Field Coaching Program (see below). The Magic Word shows you that our attitude toward life doesn’t affect the world and the people in it nearly as much as it affects us. And it provides tips and strategies to begin improving your attitude. It’s a great lesson. Download it now and listen to it every day for at least ten days, and you will start to develop an exceptional attitude sooner than you think. After you listen to the lesson, pick one thing you will do differently tomorrow to help improve your attitude. Then, leave us a comment below to let us know what you chose and the effect it’s having on your attitude. |
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August 2022
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